October 30, 2006

a fine travel day

What do most people think of when they think of touring bands?
1. wild parties
2. non stop drinking
3. lots of kissy-kiss goin' on

What do most touring musicians think when they think of touring bands?
1. too much travel
2. too much travel
3. scorpions

Whether or not the above lists are true is negotiable. However, the last 24 hours have proved that we do way more traveling than kissy-kissin' when on tour.

Lets start with the plane ride from Philadelphia to London. It was not too bad. They charged us for headphones and alcohol though, so Sam soberly watched Little Man without any sound. He said the plot was too complicated to follow without being able to hear anything... Understandable.

Upon arrival, we traveled some more... on a bus. The bus is nice at least. There's a DVD collection that is about 85% horror movies, so we are hoping to have the Halloween all 14 year old girls have- sit around and watch horror movies and eat popcorn and do each other's nails.

Upon arriving at the club in Bristol, we thought we would be done being on moving vehicles only to find out that the club was a boat! So we spent the rest of the night on a firmly grounded boat-venue called The Social. I still think of this as traveling- even though it really wasn't.

and then as far as scorpions -

October 14, 2006

Pumpkin Pandemonium

Oh, October. No other month is quite better than you, are they? First of all, you host one of my favorite holidays*. Your air is crisp and invigorating. And the foliage? Do not even ge
t me started on the foliage. Look at yourself, you practically epitomize the Autumn season. I could go on and on about your 31 days of blissful existence, but I only have the time to focus on my favorite of your offerings: limited edition pumpkin-flavored novelties.

There is no arguing that the Pumpkin dominates the month of October. Although it is usually revered for its decorative (and sometimes spooky! – ed.) purposes, let us take the time to celebrate the Pumpkin for its culinary delights. On the outside, the Pumpkin may seem like quite the goofy gourd, but within those orange walls lurks one of the most distinctive and scrumptious flavors in modern cooking today.

There is, of course, the “normal duprez”: pumpkin pie, roasted pumpkin seeds, pumpkin soup, etc…These foods, while delicious, are not blog-worthy by any means. So, without further ado, let’s begin the Pumpkin Pandemonium

Pumpkin Beer. I feel kind of lame beginning with this, but you’d be surprised how many breweries are producing this seasonal ale. I’ve had three varieties already. The first one I had in Orlando, Florida of all places. I cannot, for the life of me, remember who made it, but it was perfect as a pumpkin is plump. The second pumpkin beer was brought to me by the Buffalo Bill brewing company. I don’t know too much about this Buffalo Bill character, but he too makes a damn fine pumpkin ale. A couple days later I was treated to Blue Moon’s interpretation of pumpkin beer. It was a characteristically sweet “brew”, but compared to the other two beers, it left me wanting more. I suppose you could make the argument that they’re going for a subtlety here, but perhaps too much. If they put a picture of rhubarb** on the label and I tasted it, I would be like, “Hmm…yeah, this tastes like rhubarb I guess”.

Pumpkin Cream Cheese. The “cream” of the crop (or patch? – ed.) goes to the Einstein Brother’s pumpkin flavored cream cheese. When it comes to bagels, I’m usually not into sweet spreads like “strawberry” or “blueberry”, but these brothers know their shit. First of all, the cream cheese is whipped, which always helps with the application process. It is light brown in color and the smell of it melting upon a freshly toasted bagel is guaranteed to initiate salivation. Its taste is comparable to pumpkin pie filling, but the eating experience is OUT OF THIS WORLD. I honestly wish I could start every morning with a shmear of pumpkin on my bagel, but alas, this is a limited edition, so stock up for the rest of the year!

Pumpkin Milk Shake. As unlikely as it is, Jack in the Box brings this delicious desert to the table. I would not usually recommend that anyone go to a Jack in the Box (for various reasons), but this is something that even the pumpkin-curious should try. It is think and rich in essence of pumpkin, although, it apparently contains 830 calories. However, if you think about it, an actual pumpkin has over 1000***, so it’s healthier (and tastier!) to enjoy it in milk-shake form.

Pumpkin Donut. Most top-of-the-line organizations (Krispy Kreme, Dunkin Donuts, etc) are producing this treat. Mine came courtesy of Tim Horton’s, the Starbucks of Canada. I have to admit, compared to the other pumpkin curiosities of this season, it left much to be desired. Not to say it was a bad donut, I just wish Mr. Horton could have put more thought (and pumpkin) into it before rushing it out onto the shelves.

Pumpkin Coffee. I am no regular customer of Starbucks, but when they blatantly advertise their seasonal pumpkin awareness, I will throw up my hands and give in. Starbucks offers a nice looking pumpkin muffin, and two seductive pumpkin beverages to wash it down with. I could choose from either their “Pumpkin Spice Frapaccino” or their “Pumpkin Spice Latte”. Not having the money (or stomach capacity) to try both, I went for an iced pumpkin spice latte. The drink was presented with whipped cream and topped off with cinnamon sprinkles, and, as you might imagine, was a delight to my tastebuds. However, like Tim Horton’s botched donut and Blue Moon’s mild ale, I felt like I was being gypped out of my pumpkin “spice”. Pumpkin themed foods should be as fat, bright and flamboyant as the fruit itself. As I left the Starbucks, I proceeded to walk past the other stores’ Halloween displays, brimming full of orange pumpkins with mischievous faces. I took a sip of my pumpkin latte, trying to capture that spirit of pumpkinness, only to end up with a hollow feeling inside.

I hope other pumpkin-enthusiasts find this guide helpful, and if anyone knows of any other pumpkin innovations, by all means, let me know.

- Dr. Pumpkin****

* October 6th - Bipolar Awareness Day
I do wish someone would make this into beer.
* Do the math
**** Thomas Hughes

October 10, 2006

the days of the grift

I remember the days when this web journal was solely used for the documenting of the grift. We would tell stories of grifts past, and try to teach others the way of the grift. However, the times they are a changing, and grifters have seen this truth as painfully as the rest of us.

Just the other day in Portland, the spinto band found themselves in a Sav-a-Lot grocery store around 1 am. Our show had completed and we needed some pumpkin flavor beer and doritos. While shopping, I went by the sandwich cooler and the grifter in me awoke. I noticed that the sandwiches in the cooler were labeled "Sell By Oct. 5." My biological clock had just ticked onto October 6th, and I needed to alert someone at Sav-a-Lot that these sandwiches could not rightfully be sold. It was the right thing to do.

The grift was obvious: the clerk would have to throw away all the perishable sandwiches, and instead of him wasting a ton of food, he would rather give it to me so I could throw away. It had worked many times in the past and I felt confident that it would work in Portland.

I was wrong.

The clerk would not hand over the sandwich when I pointed out the overdue sell-by date. He held onto it, despite my bargaining and buttering. I told him no one would care... no one would even know." I knew I was beat when he pointed to the ceiling and said, "I know who would care, God would care." ----- dill-weed!-----

Not much I could say after that. You can slow the grift but you can't abolish the grifter! Despite this upending we have not stopped grifting. We still sneak 6 dudes into hotel rooms fit for 1, and we still are receiving free pizza at Whole Foods. Stores are, for some reason, concerned with customers getting sick if they eat food you are supposed to throw away, but I think everyone should know that grifters live by their own laws... They don't press charges for things like that. They may walk in front of a speeding car and press charges for whiplash, but they don't get free food then press charges for a tummy ache. At least I hope not. Hopefully Krispy Kreme and Starbucks are reading this... give us your waste, we are hungry.

October 9, 2006

instant oatmeal...with coffee

hey everyone, i feel like edison.

a few minutes ago i was scrounging for some breakfast...lucky for me i had horded some instant oatmeal in by book-bag. sadly i could not find any hot water. in a classic case of limitations leading to a new idea...i decided to add coffee to my dehydrated breakfast instead.


it was amazing.

here is how you make it:

step 1: put instant oatmeal in a container

step 2: add coffee

step 3: eat

step 4: smile

step 5: post about it on a blog*

give it a spin, it's the bee's knees, i swear.


--- endnotes ---
*this is an essential part of making coffee-instant-oatmeal a part of your complete breakfast.

WOXY is back

So the spinto band and WOXY are good buds. They made Cincinnati a warm home for us the past few visits, and it was tough to think of the Nati without WOXY. So when we visited their page recently and saw this, we were overjoyed:

Could it be true? Does lightning strike the same place twice? Apparently it does. It is indeed the real deal — WOXY.com will be back on-the-air soon and better than ever! Seems like we're proving ourselves to be master escape artists in eluding the icy depths of the deadpool. We're ready to kick out the jams and hope you are, too.

well done guys... we are pumped.

October 4, 2006

How To Properly Pose for a Photograph

after a few too many mundane photographs with bands being taken, we decided to offer a couple lessons.

Lesson 1. Harness your inner ninja.

October 3, 2006

Sam Makes a Fortune

In Phoenix the other night, Sam set up his own merch table.

when asked why Sam stole Jeff's business model, Hughes simply replied, "You snooze... you lose!"

Jeff was fine with it though, because earlier that day, we saw a scorpion.